24th June, 2007. 1:27 am. sad
well, am i ever in a bitch-load of trouble.
got caught kinda law-breaking... o boy.
if this affects my degree i will be so angry.Warren is worried about me hurting myself; I'm worried aboiut me hurting someone else- the fucker who ratted on me.
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5th April, 2007. 6:24 pm.
wow, so it's been absolutely eons sincei last posted to my journal, and i can't exactly say i've been 'busy'.
so the exams went well, apart from the one i missed due to not waking up in time (yes, i did have an alarm clock, unfortunately i have learnt to turn it off in my sleep). this semester seems to be going well also; we're studying much more interesting units (molecular biology, cell biology & astro-physics).
Work is also surprisingly bearable, although i am dead on my feet most days due to the number of shifts i'm working (all the student barstaff have gone home to their mummies for easter; umbilical cords getting a bit tight again)
Money isn't too bad either, even though i have to pay dad £900 when my loan comes through.
Saving up for a minicruise at the moment, it's only about two hundred.
working on a new graphic novel, although i will have to find an artist to help me 'realise my vision', since my drawing is crap.
current weight; 12st. Seriously going to losew some over the holiday. As a matter of fact, i've just got back from a nice energetic walk, i didn't think it was particularly exerting, but i'm quite sweaty now, so maybe it did do me some good... then again, i sweat profusely if i stand up for more than ten minutes...
must dash to sainsbury's now for fresh fruit and vegetables... and maybe some booze...
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26th January, 2007. 5:38 pm.
well, it's getting on for that time of year again... EXAM TIME! YAY! *suppresses masochistic tendancies*
working tonight; whats new?
need a shower; i smell.
life's pretty normal atm, i would go as far as to say boring, but we've had NTL reconnected, so with 24hour cartoons, nothing is boring.
better get on with things though, gotta go claim some money back from the curryhouse 'cos they charged my debit card twice when we had a meal there last sunday.
at least i only have three exams; one of which i don't even really have to turn up to becos i've passed that unit on coursework already.
exam dates; 31/01, 01/02, & 06/02.
my writing skills have shrivelled up and died, i desperately need practise writing fics... i have so many ideas, i just can't seem to write them without sounding fucking retarded.
1st January, 2007. 7:15 pm. knackered
so here i am, guessing that everyone had a great new year's eve piss up, and i am exhausted.
i started work at 8.30 last night, and eventually finished at 6am.
HOW CAN PEOPLE DRINK BOOZE AT 6 IN THE FUCKING MORNING?!?!
fortunately the boss let us drink behind the bar, but i think that may have contributed to my feeling like a zombie by the time i eventually got home. made £15 in tips, £10 in a clever con, and £15 from the boss by way of apologising for having us work nine and a half hours.
i'm treating myself to pizza tonight... if pizza hut is open late.
then im gonna curl up on the sofa, watch the torchwood finale and then sleep till next year.
27th December, 2006. 1:55 am. not well
i've had a headache for almost a week now. My back canes. Last night the inflatable mattress we were sleeping on deflated in the middle of the night. fun.
y/day was kinda crap; dad went to work at five, mum couldn't be bothered to cook roast dinner, the boys were hyperactive and Charlie was sulking in her room all day.
bit i DID get my iPod!!!!!!!!!!!!
iPod! iPod! iPod! iPod!
my boss reckons i'm pregnant, apparently that would be a good explanation why i keep being sick and tired and all my muscles hurt and my headache refuses to give it a rest.
what else did i get? oh yeah, how's this for a varied taste in music?; i got My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade & Girls Aloud - The Greatest Hits.
besides that it was the usual wardrobe of pants, sox & jammies (pyjamas).
i'm tired now, gonna curl up on the sofa now and have a kip.
10th December, 2006. 9:13 pm. blegh
Just worked the last three nights in a row, so natch i'm out on the lash tonite, i intend getting wrecked. haven't been feeling well recently; kinda blank again. could be cos my pills ran out over a week ago and i haven't really been up to goin back to the doctors to get more.
feeling disgustingly vulnerable and emotional. I hate ppl who act the way i feel now.
Might also have something to do with the looming holiday; last year was the first xmas when i DIDNT try to kill myself in about 5 years. All my buddies are going 'home' for xmas. Yay, i'm going to be so fucking bored.
O well, i might have the chance to write more fanfic, but that often just makes me feel worse; i totally obsess over the characters, then get misersable about my life being boring.
Elsewhere in Lilvior-land; i'm now working xmas eve and new years eve; yay for my exciting social life. But apparently i get a massive bonus, lots of free booze and my bodyweight in tips (so maybe not a bad thing that im getting so GODDAMN fat again...)
Seen loads of clothes i want; mother has offered to take me shopping in kingston after xmas and buy me lots of stuff; she didn't buy anything for my birthday so she totally owes me.
Looking for skateboards for my little bros' xmas pressies; i don't want to buy them cheap shit, but they are only 7 so i'm not spending more than thirty quid.
Having a tandoori pizza for dinner - mmm.
god i cant wait to get drunk. When i'm sobor everything hurst- my chest, my brain, my MASSIVE emoness...
On the plus side; this week is the last week of term, so no getting out of bed at eight o'fucking clock in the goddamn morning after... *checks timetable* thursday!
well, time to go collect pizza.
26th November, 2006. 7:14 pm. writing essay
today i am writing an essay on eukaryotic cells. it is very boring. it only has to be 500 words, but i find myself getting distracted after a sum total of... 13. i'm gonna pad it out a bit with pictures, but that means spending god-knows how many hours learning how to 'wrap text' whatever that means.
I've got all the info i need, it is simply a case of convincing my brain to concentrate long enough to write it up.
well, at least Torchwood is on tonite, although i'm a little skeptical about the trailer; looks a little dull compared to last week.
Looking forward to going out on the piss tomoro, don't have any money, but i figure i'll get pissed somehow.
i just know i'm going to spend all night writing fanfic, and write the bloody essay at five o'clock in the morning.
o well, im not exactly one to break the habit of a lifetime.
24th November, 2006. 7:15 pm. eeep.
Following on the trend (fleurione, i'm talking to you), i forgot about my little brothers' birthday. It was yesterday. I've now bought them a card and pressie each, we're going to go see them tomoro. I've just checked the things i bought (quizmo), they're like these little quiz books with an electronic device you enetr the answers into. Yeah, sounds great, but the boys have just turned seven and these questions appear to be aimed at rather much older children.
Which of these id a type of snake?
Okay, so you or i could do that quite easily, we've all seen 'kill bill', but could a seven year-old manage it?
Well, gotta get ready for work now,Warren goes to work in about 2 hours and i want my free hour to write fanfic.
still way over-obsessing.
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22nd November, 2006. 11:16 pm. why angry?
Been feeling rather angry today. Can't think of why; it kinda feels like I'm being squashed into a little box shape and it's getting smaller all the time.
I'm claustrophobic in my own skin?
I keep snapping at Warren which is really kinda unfair on him, for once he hasn't actually done anything wrong.
oh, except he wants to by these cheap tacky shoes, except they aren't cheap, they're £35 and they look like they're worth about a tenner. they are total poof shoes. He also refuses to buy straight-legged jeans, insisting instead on those boot-cut monstrosities he's worn holes in. I know he would look so cute in a pair of low-waisted, straight-cut, ever-so-slightly-baggy jeans, with a pair of timberland or catapillar boots, a striped hoody and his jacket; if it ever gets dry-cleaned.
He claims i 'don't love him the way he is', which is bullshit, i would just rather he didn't waste the fact that he gets to wear men's clothes - i wish i could.
Not going out tonight, or tomoro for that matter. In fact, i won't be drinking again until saturday; if i live that long - maybve that's why i'm in such a weird mood.
well, gotta have a shower now, i'll be writing fanfic later.
19th November, 2006. 7:56 pm.
Back A Page
let me try that again with the actual icon i was talking about, funnily enough, it is now relevant.